Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
i think my cat just said my name.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
