Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
