ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
