I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He? As in you personified your dick?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize