I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
