Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
