She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
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