So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
im six kinds of drunk right now
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
