is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
