I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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