i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
