didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
