But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
