Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
