No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
