Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I love you. Go after that dick
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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