you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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