No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
