oh god the rape fog is back!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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