I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
