when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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