does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
