i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
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I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
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New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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