I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
