And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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