one two three fourrrrnication!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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