if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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