thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
