I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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