We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
