worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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