just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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