You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
