five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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