So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
