i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
