So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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