Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Semen is not good for contacts.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
