What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize