I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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