my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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