There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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