He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize