I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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