what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
