I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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