So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
