i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
