Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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