Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
