I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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