Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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