his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I smell like Dick and happiness
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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