He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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