is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
