I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she smelled like a LAN party
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
