i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
