The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize