the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
