You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
