dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
