another moral hangover. fuck.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
