its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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