I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
