mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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