Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My dick has a subreddit
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
