I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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