My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
