i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I wannas sexs uuuuu
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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