So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
