I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
