Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
