hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
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