Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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