It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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