First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
