Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
