I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we made out on top of his cat.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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