He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
