Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
