just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
