So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
